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Immortal vs. Sex – Pacificklaus

Immortal vs. Sex

Adult Actress extraordinaire Annie Cruz asks on Twitter:

Would you rather have sex and die immediately after or never have sex and be completely immortal? Tweet your answers.

As usual, nothing is kinky and weird enough as that it does not happen somewhere in biology:

Have sex and die immediately. Well, not right immediately, but most cephalopods, the octopi and squid, usually die after one mating event. They hatch, eat eat, eat and eat, grow really fast, find a mate, do a few good humps, lay some eggs, and die. In octopi the females at least protect the eggs till they hatch, in most species both males and females wither away after doin’ IT once. Very sad. I like octopi, they make an intelligent impression when I see them underwater.

A dying cephalopod, after having had sex only once.

Never have sex and be completely immortal. Well, it’s not an animal, but actually closer to an animal than a plant: a fungus. If you are a fungus, you can just clone your cells, and be immortal, for all practical purposes. A fungus in Oregon is estimated to be 2400 years old. Well, it gets even better. The fungus is huge: it covers almost 9 km2 and weighs an estimated 600 tons. Immortal and bigger than Ronnie Coleman. Wow. The fungus would feel like a boss, if fungi could feel anything. Negative: all that growth happened asexually. While most fungi can produce reproductive organs (mushrooms), some species don’t.

What would I prefer? Right now I am having a good amount of sex, am pretty huge (not as big as Ronnie or the honey fungus, though) and still have not died yet, so while it’s unlikely, it could possibly still be that I am in fact immortal. I’ll stick with my status quo.