MILF sues Google

Zamboanga City/San Francisco – the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) filed a lawsuit against Google of Palo Alto, claiming that Google’s search results for the group’s acronym (warning: NSFW!) distorted the public view of the southern Philippines’ Islamist rebel group.

“Getting all these lewd images is not in the interest of our corporate identity” MILF spokesman Abu Lobot said in a statement sent to the international media this Monday. “We are a serious secessionist group and have nothing to do with promiscuous women in their 30s and 40s.” Lobot further elaborated on some of the technicalities of the lawsuit and stated that “we are not the kind of MILF to fuck with!”.

The preliminary hearing for the lawsuit is expected to go underway in April in the 17th US circuit court in San Francisco, where Google is registered. It is unclear if the MILF will send a representative to the hearing, and whom, since in the current political climate anyone even remotely associated with an Islamist extremist group would have serious difficulties obtaining a US visa.

Pacificklaus media could not find a staff member capable of the sustained sobriety necessary to connect with serious Islamists for a planned interview. For this we apologize, so all reporting in this story depended on our network of Filipino informants and local expats claiming to be “very familiar with all kinds of MILF”. We are, however, slightly troubled by their own admission that they had never been to south-western Mindanao (the only location in the country where the MILF and related Islamist groups are active), but had always stayed in the completely safe remainder of the Philippines.

I really don’t have a good image of a MILF -either – so here is a nice sunset.