All kinds of writingParody

5 Facts About 5 Facts

1. If you are a really lousy writer, and can’t come up with a good flow for your essay, you might want to try to chop it up into 5 not particularly connected facts. It won’t work either. You are still a bad writer.

2. If decades of mental laziness have left your attention span so short that you can’t integrate more than a paragraph in your mind at one time, the writing method from 1. might actually work for you.

3. If decades of mental laziness have left your attention span so short that you can’t integrate more than a paragraph in your mind at one time, the writing method from 1. might actually work for you. Even two sentences might overburden your working memory. Do you still remember 1. and 2.?

4. If there is nothing gruesome, cute or scandalous by item 4., most people stop reading anyway. Or conspiracies. Conspiracies also work. There will be a breathtaking revelation about a conspiracy in fact 5.

5.

A picture of a cute dog, with no real connection to facts about 5 facts, but it helps to capture folks' attention.
A picture of a cute dog, with no real connection to facts about 5 facts, but it helps to capture folks’ attention.