Calling Anemone Fish “Nemo” now Illegal in Philippine Province
Manila, February 2nd, 2018. A new law has been passed in the Caliente Oriental province of the Philippines outlawing the practice of referring to anemone fishes as “Nemo”. Provincial governor Carols “Bongbong” Ramirez said during a press conference this Monday that “Anyone who calls damselfishes of the genera Amphiprion or Premnas ‘Nemo’ needs to stop watching childish foreign cartoon movies and start reading marine biology books.” The governor was visibly irate at the wide-spread habit of calling his province’s marine life by improper names. “Anyone who thinks we have ‘Nemo’ in our oceans does not belong in our beautiful province’s waters” governor Ramirez explained. “He does belong in our jails, though” he added.
The penalties for calling anemone fishes “Nemo” range from fines upwards of 10000 Pesos to a week in the county jail. And the law was already applied once in the afternoon after the governor’s press conference: Japanese national Hiroko Torikatzu was let go by police after paying a fine, after she had been overheard publicly stating “Nemo very cute” by multiple witnesses.
