Politically Incorrect Fish Names Which Have to be Changed

Each animal known to science has a proper scientific name, which serves as a unique handle to scientists for naming it. For example, the zebra fish is called Danio rerio by scientists – scientists with any native language. The different species also have names in English, German, French, Tagalog, Japanese, ect. These are the common names in each language.

Some of these common names are very descriptive, such as the aforementioned zebra fish – it’s a fish with a zebra pattern. Other common names are a bit odd. “What where they thinking when they named that fish?” is something I’m frequently thinking. Some of these names are totally politically incorrect, and have to be changed:

Old Wife

Elopus armatus (scientific name) is a small, school-forming fish endemic to Australia (it only lives in Australia). It looks like a butterfly fish, but belongs to a separate family of perciform (bass-like) fishes. When taken from the water, these fish make grunting sounds, supposedly like a grumpy “old wife”. Hence the common name.

This of course raises the question, who in his right mind would do that, take a fish out of the water? It belongs in the water! No surprise that it makes angry sounds when put in a place where it can’t breathe. The common name also seems to imply that women (wifes) would be more inclined to complain (make grumpy noises). Sexism! The name of that fish needs to be changed asap:

Suggestion for a more acceptable name: Rightfully disgruntled spouse of any nonbinary gender fish.

Red Indian Fish

The Red Indian Fish, Pataecus fronto, also only lives in Australia. Its dorsal fin looks like the feather headdress of a Red Indian chief. Red Indian? Native American!

When Christopher Columbus sailed to the West of Europe, he thought he was going on a shortcut to India. Hence he called the natives of the places he reached Indians, and that stuck. It suck, despite being a completely wrong description of these people – they are not Indians!

Now, the natives of the New World undoubetly suffered massively from the European invasion after Columbus’ arrival. Policing the use of words does not undo a single injustice they suffered, of course. Especially when it comes to the name of a fish on another continent. We still like the feeling that comes with moral indignation, however, and ask that the common name of this fish be changed:

Suggestion for a more acceptable name: Fish in honor of native American Celebratory Headdress

Moorish Idol

Zanclus cornutus is a tropical and subtropical marine fish which is related to the surgeonfishes. It’s common in the coral reefs of the tropics, and I have even seen it as far south as Sydney. It’s a lively fish, fun to watch. The common name is “Moorish idol”.

The Moors were the Islamic conquerors who settled in Spain in the early middle ages, and left a variety of interesting architecture and art in Europe. Why would such sophisticated people idolize a marine fish? Would they dance around the fish, and chant its name in some sweaty night-time ceremony? I like Zanclus cornutus, but I don’t idolize it, so why would the Moors do that? Isn’t the common name terribly Islamophobic? Aren’t these arguments a bit of a stretch? Wouldn’t this be completely irrelevant, since the last of the Moors has been long dead? Yes, of course, but we enjoy the outrage, so:

Suggestion for a more acceptable name: Fish appreciated by Medieval Islamic Europeans