Parody

Vacation Island uses Turtle Shaped ROVs to distract Tourists

Manila, March 13th.The Philippine vacation destination Hubog Island took an unusual step to protect the island’s marine turtle population. The tourism board of Hubog recently purchased 4 underwater remote operated vehicles (ROVs) with plastic covers looking like turtles. These turtle-shaped ROVs are meant to distract the snorkelers visiting the island, many of which have the nasty habit of touching, grabbing and mounting the turtles. The unruly tourists will in the future, so the hopes of the Hubog tourism board, abuse the ROVs and leave the real turtles alone.

Dr. Jose Palwikan, head of the Hubog Island Marine Conservation Association which was instrumental in the purchase of the ROVs, said in a press conference held last Friday that “the situation is far from ideal” and that “he wished people could behave and stop abusing turtles” but that “in reality, it’s better that they grab a ROV which they think is a turtle” and not “a real turtle which might be traumatized by the abuse”.

Asked if the turtle-grabbing tourists would likely be fooled by the ROVs, which are controlled via a conspicuous underwater cable, connected to a topside operator’s smart phone, Dr. Palwikan replied “Yes, because people with so little respect for wildlife are usually generally quite retarded”.

The TK-2 ROV “turtles”, a Korean product, are equipped with an action cam to identify illegal attempts at “wildlife” harassment, and a waterproof taser to “teach them a lesson”.