The Most Aggressive Fish in the Ocean

Which is the most aggressive fish in the ocean? Let’s go over some candidates:

It’s not the tiger shark, nor the great white shark, nor the lemon shark; attacks by these fishes can cause serious or even deadly injuries, but they are rare; in fact they are very very rare, to the point that shark conservation activists came up with comparisons to absurdly rare ways of dying, such as being hit by a coconut or a soft drink vending machine; these are more likely than a death by shark attack. Let me add that drinking unhealthy soft drinks is much more dangerous than swimming in the ocean with sharks; the point of these comparisons is to show how extremely unlikely shark attack deaths are; no one in his right mind is filled with fear of toppling over vending machines, and no one should be scared of sharks; we should be scared of oceans more and more devoid of sharks due to over-fishing and habitat destruction!

So, sharks can be dangerous if they attack, but they don’t attack very often; generally they are not aggressive towards humans. Another example are the stonefishes, which are extremely venomous. Stepping on one of these will cause agonizing pain, and possibly death. But, the stonefishes generally just lay there on the ocean floor and never, ever attack anyone out of their own volition.

Hence, we need to look  for the most aggressive (most likely to attack) – in contrast to the most dangerous – fish in the ocean somewhere else. Could it be the Titan triggerfish?

 

And The Winner Is…

Good effort by the triggered triggerfish (how about a courtesy trigger warning?)! But I got away … the only fish which has ever injured me during an attack which I sustained during a dive is the anemonefish, specifically Amphiprion polymnus, the saddleback clownfish or panda anemonefish. Look at the ghastly wound which I sustained to my hand, and the evildoer fish below:

 

It’s Nemo

Yes, the most aggressive fish in the ocean is “Nemo”. A few things should be said about Nemo. Firstly, don’t call him “Nemo”. Then, this fish is not the cheerful funny little fishy depicted in the Disney movie. These fish are hooligans. They are the soul animals of the violent Eurotrash youth which riots at soccer games. Look at this:

 

We really hate Nemo the hooligan fish. The only thing which has so far prevented deadly outcomes of encounters between divers and the hooligan fish is its small size. Anemonefishes, and especially the panda anemonefish, are not afraid to take on a diver who is likely about 1000 times their body mass; they are always aggressive when they perceive an approaching diver to be a threat for their home anemone, in which they spend most of their post-larval lives; They are even more aggressive when they nest, with their eggs on a stone next to the anemone.

Some anemone fishes will attack anyone near their anemone; but the panda anemonefish will sprint towards a diver who might be 3 or 4 meters away from the spot of the anemone. they will not cease to attack even when the diver retreats; their level of aggression is uniquely high.

To warn fellow divers, we even developed a new scuba diving hand signal for anemonefish, look here: